


What Happened At Tamaki's First Piano Recital

by tbmd1066



Series: Hot Potato Prompts [2]
Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Childhood Memories, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-24
Updated: 2014-05-24
Packaged: 2018-01-26 07:20:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1679663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tbmd1066/pseuds/tbmd1066
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Poor little Tamaki Suoh, only like, four, was extremely nervous about his first piano recital.<br/>Based on true events.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Happened At Tamaki's First Piano Recital

Poor little Tamaki Suoh, only like, four, was extremely nervous about his first piano recital. The blond asian was usually thrilled to be around people, always happy for someone to pay attention to him, but today was not one of those days.

“You’ll do fine, sweetheart! Calm down.” his mother said, smiling comfortingly.

Tamaki did not calm down. He did not stop shaking. In fact, it got worse. He peed a little. Not a lot, and in the end no one noticed, but he remembered it forever.

The director stood, smiling at a little girl in braids. “Alright, Marie! What is the name of the song you’re playing for us today, my dear?”

“Guys Who Don’t Call,” Tamaki replied. “Its that new Taylor Swift song.” He ran his hand through his golden locks. “And, as a matter of fact, I can play it better than anyone else on earth. Even Ms. Swift herself.”

He sat himself down on the bench, cleared his throat, cracked his knuckles, and began to furiously bang away on the keys. It sounded terrible, kind of similar to how it would sound if the piano had just been tossed out of the twenty-fourth story of an apartment complex and was shattering into a million pieces. Tamaki’s mother slipped the piano teacher a fifty, so she smiled and cheered and clapped as loudly as she could.

“Oh Tamaki, I’m so proud of you! You’ve come so far!” A few awkward claps emerged from the audience.

Tamaki stood up and smiled. He turned to the piano teacher and asked, “If you could compare this performance to one thing, what would it be?”

“Catapults.” He put it simply. “Catapults is the only thing to describe it all.” He nodded surely.

The teacher blinked in confusion and raised an eyebrow at his....strange,to say the least, answer.

“T-tamaki. How on EARTH does that relate to this performance at all?”

“Well you see, I hardly knew shit all about piano, so I sort of just.....well, I said ‘Fuck it. ‘ and jumped right in. I’m just a fucking natural .” He shrugged, leaving the teacher speechless.

“Tamaki! Do you think this is a joke?! How do you plan on moving forward in your piano career with this attitude?!” The teacher shouted.

Tears quivered in Tamaki’s eyes. “I... I don’t...”

“He doesn’t!” a small child. “He’ll move to Canada and make a living selling unfairly priced, greasy poutine to American tourists!”

“But I don’t like poutine!” Tamaki sobbed.

“Rene! Shut the hell up!” Rene’s mother said.

“This is serious.” the teacher said. “Tamaki, what on earth were you thinking, doing something like that?”

“I was thinking maybe I’d rather learn Japanese than play the piano.” Tamaki sobbed quietly.

The teacher blinked at the blond asian. “Wh-why?”

“God. BECAUSE OF GOD. DO YOU HAVE A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR? THE CEO OF LUNCHABLES?”

At that moment, Takeshi Sudo, the founder and CEO of Lunchables, barged in through the front door. He was wearing a sophisticated looking business suit, and he winked at Tamaki. Tamaki blushed.

“I’m not your typical religious figure, Tamaki” he said. His beautiful, luscious, curly black hair flowed unevenly across his face, gently swaying in the wind. He eyes were a deep blue, the king that you could get lost in. He seemed a bit old though, pushing fifty. Tamaki though about it. Wine gets better with age, so maybe people did too. Either way, he wanted this man. It was as though Takeshi knew Tamaki’s every though, and he wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. “Tamaki-san, I’ve been making lunchables my entire life. I’m rich now. I can buy you anything. What would you like?”

“You know....I think.... I think what I truly want is for the rapture to happen soon. I mean, there is so much torture.....and there are dead babies! JESUS will save our souls! S.O.S man! Imagine the bright white light that will cover the world!” He screamed out, almost like that homeless psychotic maniac on the streets that he had met not one day ago.

Tamaki grinned suddenly and slowly starting to laugh.“I...I just realized!!! I AM JESUS!!! My beautiful blonde locks flowing in the wind....IT ALL MAKES SENSE!!!” He shouted and shook his friend’s shoulders in an attempt to make him understand. His blue eyes turned a glowing purple/pink/red colour and his grin grew to reach the very edge of his face.

“Tamaki-san!!!! What has gotten into you?!”

“Well, sir, I’m not entirely sure, but it feels rather like a penis.” Tamaki giggled.

Someone made the wise decision to finally call the police. They never found out who’s penis it was.

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Even we don't know.


End file.
